The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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