Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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