therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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