There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
