I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
