take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
