Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
