What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
