Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
