I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
