I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
