Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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