No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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