just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
