Swine flu. Run for my life!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
