just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
