I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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