Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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