Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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