My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize