She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
