I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am mentally ready for anal.
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