I think I am morally bankrupt
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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