somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
