there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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