I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
