coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
