Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
