Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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