Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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