I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
