We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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