guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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