last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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