I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made him laugh his dick is mine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize