you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
