My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
