She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
