You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
