It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
