i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
