it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
