My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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