oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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