So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
