i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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