You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
And the cops told us we were all naked.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
