is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
