He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
