But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
