You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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