Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
