There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
